Help Me Overcome Over-Analysis Paralysis and Choose a Website Idea From This List of 3
Richard: this first bit is for everyone who reads this – Secure the domain name that is your own name. Even if you never use it visibly, when you DO become a famous sought-after (fill in the blank here), you can bet someone else will have taken it before you. Everyone should buy their own name domain. It’s easy and cheap. That’s the easy advice right off the top. Beyond that, it’s important in personal growth work to trust the person who’s advising/coaching you. So your own name is worth more than any tag line, really. But only if you do the work.
This next bit is said with love from someone who has worked with over 2000 people going through the kind of struggle you describe: Artists, graduating students, healing arts people, the creative and the unconventional. You are close to solving the puzzle, but there’s a bit more work to do on that mindset.
Hearing you tell your own story gave me insight into why you might be struggling with finding the ‘right’ brand. The self-judgement about your corporate job disappointment, and having to ‘bite the bullet’ and take a convenience store job is exactly the inner state that is giving you the run-around in trying to establish your own ‘online brand’. You are trying to determine the answer when you haven’t yet realized the question.
Just write. And write and write. Share with people you trust. Post afterwards. None of those people whose site you want to emulate started full-blown as you see them today. You are making a lot of assumptions about their genesis, their success and their income. You don’t want to compete with them. You want to fill a niche they are not reaching, that only your voice and experience can touch.
Get out of your own head and spend more time listening to your audience (any way you can), not just the people you think are already serving them.
The authentic voice that resonates with another’s pain and confusion, a source of help with something relevant to say – THAT needs to be developed before any real market opens for it. You are too focussed on this as a source of income and too used to ‘studying to the test’ to get there, yet. You have to un-learn your good study skills and expectations, become less directive of the outcome, to be able to see what is truly in front of you.
- Read Anne Lamott’s ‘Bird by Bird’ to inspire you to do the work on the writing that you need to do to get through that paralysis.
- Lewis Hyde’s work on the gift economy is useful when thinking about monetizing this kind of work.
- Follow Tad Hargreaves (www.marketingforhippies.com) to open up generative ways to think about your audience, and about branding and authenticity.
There’s some inner (and outer) work to do.
You’ve figured out a ‘philosophy’ and recognized there are others out there who struggle as you have with that post-graduation reality check. That’s important. Just write and write and write about your own experience with that. Share your thoughts with other people you know who fit the profile of the audience you think is there. How you monetize anything that comes from this is far from clear at this point.
To expect that freelance writing is a way to make a living when you have no experience, reputation nor training is just another version of preparing for a corporate job you end up hating, or feeling a failure by disdaining work that pays your bills but seems beneath you. Unless you work through these issues yourself you may not have anything to say to others beyond commiserating with them. Start listing the positive things you’ve learned, identify where the hope lies, and work backwards. Write about that process.
Work is work. And you need to do the work to know how it fits your real talents, skills, strengths and weaknesses. It’s not usually the work itself, but how well it fits your expectations that matters. And the larger the investment of time and resources in preparing for the work, the greater the disappointment if it doesn’t meet those expectations. The salary is only a small part of the picture, in the end. How you feel about yourself in the work is something only you determine, so that’s the inner work to do.
Your words belie a set of expectations that to succeed, one can – and must – get it right (preferably the first time). Find the ‘perfect’ domain or business name or tag line. That’s very similar to expecting to get work by developing the ‘right’ resume. There are people who make a good living by resume-writing for folks who believe that.
Write and share. and write again.
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I’ve been busy with various things and this is the first time I’ve had to get online and properly respond properly in the way I want to.
Judi, I can not thank you enough for your insights.
I think that is perhaps the most personally relevant piece of feedback/advise I have ever had from anyone online. I’ve both saved it and printed it out.
You seem to have seen through to the core truths of my situation that, if I’m honest, I’ve been kind of wishing weren’t there and trying to ignore because I’m kinda desperate to “move forward” and “find an answer”.
It’s true, I am in a place where I’m kind of resenting and resisting and generally not liking life and where I am – “hating corporatism”, resenting my “dead end job”. Your comments made me realise that this isn’t a good or constructive inner place from which to operate from. While I do believe freelance writing could be a good fit for my natural abilities and could be an interesting and enjoyable source of income, you’re right – from the place I’m at now I do see that it could become just another “job” that I resent. The intuitive awareness of that is actually I think what’s held me back from just getting on with it and getting out there to try and win clients.
I’m hyper focused on “what” (getting a great brand, what work could be right for me) instead of “where” (where I am right now, inner work that needs to be looked at).
If I’m honest I’ve been aware that my “inner stuff” is/has been a cause of a lot of the things and experiences I am/have been unhappy about for the best part of the last 5 years, but I’ve kinda avoided looking at it or dealing with it properly because
a.) It’s scary, difficult, uncomfortable
b.) Lacking confidence / Not quite knowing what to do to make positive shiftsIntuitively I get the sense that in terms of my “inner game” the best and most constructive thing I can do is to work on becoming happy IN THE NOW, instead of resenting where I am and looking to the future (having a perfect website, the ideal and perfect work for me) to “get out”. Things like meditation, self-acceptance, gratitude – these kind of practices, and just consciously deciding to be happy now, and then to creating and constructing from that place. Not making my happiness dependent on a specific “perfect” reality.
Emilies latest post on Puttylike (“How To Make Money as a Multipotentialite”) actually provided a useful element for that. As you pointed out i’ve been resenting my “dead end job” but Emilie identifies 4 ways multipotentialites successfully make a living and one of them she calls “The Einstein Approach”; the having of a menial job that pays the bills but doesn’t sap too much energy, and that free’s you to work on your creative persuits in your spare time. What a shift in perspective – maybe I’m not in a “dead end job” maybe I’m being like Einstein! Haha :-p
I’ve ordered the books you suggested, and signed up to “Marketing For Hippies”. All relevant things that seem to speak to my desires/challenges.
Luckily I secured my “name.com” last year, though there is no website on it at present.
Shifting my focus to “just writing” seems intuitive right for me at this time. I’m gonna start just journalling and sharing my ideas and writing out my ah ha’s as I work through this process. I’ll also continue to explore and keep a list of potential websites and money making ideas, without the “be all and end all”/”I’ve gotta find the perfect one” mindset.
Again, thank you so much for your advise Judi. Exactly what I needed at this time. I’ll continue to share how I get one as I work through it! 🙂
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That’s it, Richard, you got it. And honestly, it’s hard to get to that level of insight without the feedback and contrast of ideas from other people who are in a similar frame of mind or have been there. That is what Emily identified when she started the Putty Tribe, along with the multipotentiality issues.
The isolation of the individual in an increasingly freelance nation is one of the major roadblocks to achieving a sustainable income and life today. And there is no preparation for seeing the issues you are facing as normal, even desireable, despite the prevalence of this situation EVERYWHERE. Social norms are still to have expectations of a career path and success measured in social and financial terms that are completely outdated.
You know that even what you have written about this experience is already resonating with those of us who are reading it. We will follow along the journey. Creating that following is what leads to books and other things that your followers, your tribe and audience will urge you to create. I have seen that over and over again with the people who eventually have the kind of success you are looking for. Go for it, stay true to your own voice, and we will be there.